Weekly Nugget: My love letter To Mr. or Ms. Know It All

Hi friend,

“I know! I know! I know!”... How often do you find yourself saying that?

“I know” is a declaration that refuses to be a listener. It says, “I’ve done this before. I’m experienced, and I’ll let everyone know.”

But what you know might not be so!

What you believe to be true may have been valid in a certain context, in a certain setting.

When the ground on which we stand is shifting, when new anomalies are showing up, what was once known is no longer reliable.

For example, someone comes to you with a problem. You think you’ve encountered this before and already know the solution. So you stop listening and start giving advice. But perhaps there are nuances that make this situation different. What you know may not apply.

Being open to not knowing is the beginning of real listening.

Insisting on “I know” is a prison of ignorance, where you shut down the opportunity to learn something new.

Instead of saying “I know” in a conversation, try, “Hmm, interesting. I know something about this, but there might also be something new here. Please tell me more.” In these moments, it’s good to remember that what matters most is not what YOU already know, but that the person speaking feels heard.

This is connected to the mood of a problem solver. Many of us live in this mood, perceiving the world as a complex mix of problems we need to solve. A problem solver believes they already have the answers and that listening wastes time (because they already “know” the solution.)

The world is not a problem to be solved. The world is a drift you must navigate. That requires tuning in and generous listening, while giving the enterprise of problem-solving a break.

What do you think? Would love to hear your reactions.

With care,
Saqib