Weekly Nugget: I Give Up... Three Ambitions
Hi friend,
How are you? It’s been a while since my last email.
For the last two weeks, I’ve been away. I went to a Vipassana retreat and returned home filled with joy and clarity. I wanted to share some of it with you right away, but nature had other plans.
When I got back, the electricity was out. The storms have been relentless in western Washington, disrupting key services. It took me several days to recover and get back into rhythm, which delayed this email.
Now, let me dive in.
The retreat brought profound insights. I’ll share many of them in the coming days.
But the most important one is this:
For years, I’ve been driven by some ambitions. To achieve. To succeed. To make things happen. And while I’ve achieved a lot, it’s never been enough.
At the retreat, I realized something startling: I’ve been driven by three invisible commitments. Three desires that quietly shaped my life.
On the surface, they seemed reasonable. But repeatedly, they’ve been taking me in the wrong direction. And now, I’m giving them up, moment by moment.
First, “I must become a billionaire.”
Since I came to the US, I’ve lived with a goal: I must create enormous wealth.
This is the infection of our era I adopted, and I see the absurdity now.
I see so clearly now that making money becomes a goal unto itself; it clouds judgment, creates impatience, and misdirects one’s potential for breakthrough and innovation.
If wealth comes as a byproduct of my work, so be it. But going forth, I am committed that it won’t drive me. Instead, it will serve to mobilize further action, not my personal wants and dreams.
2. Second, “I must find my one true soulmate.”
Growing up, I believed in the romantic ideal. The notion that somewhere, there’s one true person for you. It’s a profoundly selfish goal that is designed to remain unfulfilled.
Life’s joy isn’t found in finding one’s perfect match. It’s about how we show up in relationships that show up to us.
I’ve seen how this belief has caused pain and wasted my time and that of so many other people.
Even when I thought I’d found a soulmate, it didn’t bring what I thought it would.
I’m giving up this illusion. I will no longer search for a soulmate.
Going forward, my focus will be on those that show up in my life. I will give them the best of me.
3. Third, “I must enlighten certain people.”
For so long, I’ve carried this hidden ambition: To enlighten others.
But I’ve learned this: How people listen and receive wisdom depends on their capacity and history. It does not depend on me.
I can barely work on my own enlightenment. Who am I to force it on others?
I’m letting this go. I’ll continue my work without attaching to how it lands or whether I see immediate results. I commit not to be disappointed when people I have given so much love act in unenlightened ways. I will give it without attachment.
–
By giving up these three ambitions,
I’ve discovered a clarity I didn’t know I was missing.
No more confusion.
No more chasing wealth,
Searching for a soulmate,
Or trying to awaken others.
Instead, I am now inviting a new commitment to take root in my heart:
That is to serve others. To bring joy to people’s lives, careers, and workplaces with my work.
This is my commitment. This will be my only mission moving forward.
And I am also clear that these are the things I am going to have to give up again and again as the old ‘wanting disease’ is bound to re-emerge again and again.
I’d love to hear what this provokes for you. What invisible or visible goals do you see might be shaping or blocking your path?
With care,
Saqib