Subject Line: Weekly Nugget: Hearts must be touched before minds can be convinced

Hi,

Want to learn how to seduce, convince, transform, and enroll others?

Here is my secret:

Hearts must be touched before minds can be convinced.

But HOW do you “TOUCH” someone's heart?

Here’s how you do it:

👉1. Start with Listening: Go beyond hearing, and really get what other people are concerned about.

👉2. Let Go of Being Right: Let go of the need to prove your point or dominate the conversation.

👉3. Embrace Diverse Ideas: Cultivate the capacity to listen to opinions very different from yours.

👉4. Create Space for Co-Invention: Foster collaboration rather than imposing your agendas.

To touch someone's heart, we must start by listening – not just hearing, but truly listening to their concerns; getting what others are worried about.

And how do we listen? By giving up the NEED TO BE RIGHT.

Giving up being right doesn't mean letting others roll all over us or blindly accepting their opinions. It means having a heart big enough to listen and consider ideas that may be different from yours.

Oftentimes, we only listen to what aligns with what we already know. If what we hear matches our preconceived notions, we say we like it; if it doesn't, we reject it.

This approach leads to superficiality in friendships and relationships.

We need to build the capacity to listen to people who are different from us. It is by attempting to see others point of view, even if it contradicts ours, that we create a space for co-invention.

Normally, in our relationships, there is no space for co-invention, just games to dominate and avoid being dominated.

There is a constant desperation to get what we want from every conversation and every relationship.

So we're always doing this “tit for tat” kind of exchange with people in conversations.

You can never touch anyone's heart like that.

To touch someone's heart, we must genuinely grasp their concerns, not to prove them right or wrong, but to thoroughly understand their perspective. This understanding — offering of authentic listening — becomes the foundation for genuine connection.

If you are having difficulty in creating a deeply meaningful connection with someone, ask them to meet with and tell you especially what they think you don’t want to listen. Then listen and don’t defend. Say you got it, and thank them. That is the beginning of something new.

Try this and see where it takes you.

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I am launching something very cool to help professionals build these crucial relationships skills. Stay tuned.

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