Weekly Nugget: Four Life Paths People Take—Which One Are You On?

Hi friend,

How are you doing? I am sorry I have been slow in sending you this nugget. A particular thought grabbed my attention and I have been stewing in it. 

Intellectually, it is clear to many of us today that we are passing through great change at all levels and that ‘change is inevitable.’ And yet, how is it that some people seem so miserable in the face of change, seem so out of luck and opportunity, while others seem in so much joy at all times, no matter what happens, and ride the waves of change and opportunity so well? 

Joy and luck, misery and misfortune, seem to be interconnected. What, then, is this formula for expanding joy and attracting luck? How might we design luck? 

Regarding this, in my last Vipassana retreat, I heard a saying by Buddha that grabbed my attention. Reflecting on his original saying and my commitment to helping myself and others live grand lives of joy, I see that every one of us has a choice to take one of four distinct paths in life. 

I invite you to consider these paths and see where you are and where you are headed. 

Path 1: Joy to Misery:
You are in a good place, by hard work or by luck; you are doing well and thriving in work and life. But then something changes—maybe your job responsibilities shift, or you don’t get what you wanted—opportunity, partners, funding, title, promotion, or salary you hoped for. Instead of rolling with it, you respond as if you’re being diminished, wronged, or marginalized. You begin to blame others and circumstances, your mood goes from responsible engagement to resentment, pulling you out of a state of joy into one of misery, and it continues until intercepted. You are on a path from joy to misery. You are at risk of moving to Path 2. 

Path 2: Misery to More Misery:
You’re already in a foul mood, feeling powerless and wronged. Then something else changes—maybe even something minor—and you double down on blame, complaint, and the story that “they” are doing this to you. Instead of interrupting the spiral, you feed it. Blame replaces responsibility, and complaining becomes your way of being. Your emotional negativity deepens, dragging you—and often others—into a darker state. You dig deeper into blocking and destructive moods, generating even more misery. You become stuck, rigid, and blind to possibility, and there is no bottom to the valley of sorrow. This goes on till you shift to Path 3. 

Path 3: Misery to Joy:
Life brought you terrible circumstances, and you ended up feeling frustrated, powerless, and maybe even resentful. Then, you make a different move. Instead of blaming and fuming with ungrounded confidence, you stop and say, “Wait a minute—maybe I don’t know everything here. Maybe I can learn something new. Maybe there is an opportunity in this change.” This way, you open yourself to listening, to learning, to counting blessings rather than tallying what you didn’t get, and to giving something you wish you were receiving. Your mood changes to humility and possibility. This doesn’t mean the circumstances change immediately—it means your relationship with them does. You become curious and fully responsible. In taking full responsibility (not as a blame but as a place to stand), you begin to shift from powerlessness to power, from misery to joy. Now, you are on a new journey, embarking on Path 4. 

Path 4. Joy to More Joy:
You are in a good place, taking full responsibility for dealing with whatever disrupts you and expanding your capacity for joy. You meet change head-on, adapting, learning, growing. When life throws a new curveball, you keep moving forward. You maintain a sense of possibility, gratitude, and radical hope, no matter what happens. You don’t blame others; instead, you give others what you want from them. Even in the face of disruptions, you adapt, respond, and remain generous—offering trust, love, and care. You remain equanimous when something perturbs you and see opportunity in every change. This isn’t naive optimism; it’s the wisdom of knowing that joy is cultivated, neither granted nor guaranteed. This expands your capacity, your power within, and your well-being over time. You attract luck. You go from a state of joy to ever-expanding joy, and there is no limit to the gifts life can bring you. They just keep on coming.

You see, my friend, we don’t always get what we want and how and when we want it. The game of life is set up to disappoint you, no matter who you are. But change is the only constant. If you are in a good situation, bad things are bound to happen. When you are in a bad situation, you are bound to have opportunities sooner or later. You cannot control what happens to you, what others do to you, what nature does to you, and so on. But you are a human being, and by design, you have some agency over how you respond to what happens. You can be fully responsible for your emotional reactions and the following actions you take. 

So, where do you see yourself right now, and where do you want to go?

Are you maintaining joy as circumstances diminish you, or are you drifting into resentment and misery? Are you deepening your misery by stacking blame upon blame, or are you ready to interrupt that cycle and step into the kind of joy that arises from curiosity and agency?

In the following days, I invite you to observe your own journey—and the journeys of those around you. Notice when you’re tempted to blame, to complain, to feel wronged. Catch yourself before you go too far down that path. Ask yourself, “What’s possible now?” That single question can break the spell of misery and open a path toward something lighter, more spacious, and more inventive. 

And if you see a friend or colleague stuck in a loop of misery, gently remind them that even if they can’t dictate external circumstances, they can always choose their response. If you need help breaking the cycle of misery, you can ask me (or someone else you trust) to help you.

With care,
Saqib