Dear friend,
“There is so much I cannot do. There is no one I can ask for help. I just have to work harder and harder, and I will probably still fail because there is not enough time.”
Sound familiar? That is what overwhelm looks like. When it takes over, it presents itself as factual reality. But at the end of the day, overwhelm is a mood, and a mood is an interpretation of the future. Emphasis on interpretation. It is an assessment, an opinion, not a fact. And yet we treat it as one: it is true that I will not get it done, it is true that no one can help me, it is true that there is not enough time.
In overwhelm we close every possibility. If someone offered us help in that mood, we would wave them off. And worse, we put on the costume of the hero. I, and I alone, am going to handle this. I do not need anyone, since no one else cares anyway. Then, in the mood of the hero, whatever we do feels justified, and with the best of intentions we make bigger messes and hurt ourselves and others. Things pile up. We freeze. We procrastinate.
Do you want to end overwhelm? Here is the secret. Make requests. When we fail to ask things of our partners, at work or at home, we make them small. Without ever saying it aloud, we tell them, “You cannot do anything for me, you are not capable.” Do not make people small. Ask for help.
With care,Saqib